First Step to Getting a Divorce

Dated: November 20 2022

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First Step to Getting a Divorce


Making the decision to walk away from your marriage is not easy and should be thought about thoroughly before moving forward. It will be one of the most difficult decisions you will ever have to make especially if you have children involved. Having gone through a divorce myself it is something you need to take seriously and look at all options before making your decision.


If you are thinking about divorcing in Omaha or Council Bluffs, I’m sure you are aware that the divorce rate in the United States is around 50% for first marriages and even higher for second marriages. Deciding to move forward with a divorce will be the first of many decisions you will need to make.


With so much at stake, the outcome of the multiple steps to the finalization of a divorce will depend on how each of the different steps are approached. Your first decision will be how do I want to get a divorce. You do have several options.


Before proceeding remember that divorce options are not plug and play. Just because your friend went through a divorce one way does not mean it will necessarily work for you. Look at all options carefully, especially if you have children.


Depending on your specific situation, the intricacies of your divorce in Omaha or Council Bluffs will guide you to what type of divorce will probably work for you. For example, you will need to look at things like the length of your marriage, if you have children, what are your joint assets like a home, investments and your employment to name a few. Also, how much control do you want over the process? Do you want it as stress-free as possible? How much are you willing to spend? Is speed a concern? Do you want professional assistance? Only you can answer these types of questions. I am not aware of laws that require you to use a lawyer to get a divorce. I should mention, however, that I am not a lawyer.


Here are options for divorce: (these can vary from state to state)


Lawyer Divorce: Each spouse hires a lawyer to guide them through the process of divorce. The lawyers will advocate for the spouse who hired them. All communication is done through lawyers. If an agreement cannot be agreed upon the divorce case will go through the court system. If an agreement cannot be reached, your case will end up in trial in front of a judge who will decide your outcome. If you can agree with each other, the process is easy. But when using lawyers, it is unpredictable and can easily get quite expensive.


Do-It-Yourself-Divorce: There is no outside involvement from anyone. The couple will carry out all aspects of the divorce process. Each spouse will file for divorce and submit all paperwork with the courts. You must be able to have an open line of communication and be able to talk rationally to each other regarding the best interests of everyone including children. The downside is you could miss key items that should have been submitted with the divorce paperwork.


Internet Divorce: The internet divorce is similar to a Do-It-Your-Self Divorce with the exception that it is a software program that will take you through the steps of a divorce. After all the information is filled out online the website will prepare all the paperwork ready to be printed and signed based on the responses submitted. The key is similar to the Do-It-Yourself-Divorce; you must be able to communicate with each other on a responsible level for all parties concerned.


Divorce Mediation: Divorce mediation is another option. A third party (meditator) who is knowledgeable in resolving issues guides each of you through a process called discovery. The mediator will draft a comprehensive memo of understanding which contains all issues the divorcing couple agreed to. Mediation allows the two of you to discuss and come to an agreement on issues that pertain to your particular situation. It can also be customizable.


Collaborative Law Process Divorce: The Collaborative Law Process is a hybrid between divorce mediation and hiring lawyers. You both hire a lawyer and sign a participation agreement agreeing to cooperative techniques versus combative tactics throughout the divorce process. A series of meetings take place between spouses, lawyers and possibly other outside professionals to come to an agreement on the issues.


This is an overview of some of the options you have when divorcing. Depending on how your spouse reacts to the news that you want a divorce will also help guide you on which of these divorce options would be best to pursue. The divorce process is not enjoyable. It will have long-lasting effects on how you live your life, especially if you have children. The first option would be to look at ways to save your marriage.




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Chris Harter

As a Realtor my first priority is you. Listening to your wants and needs to achieve the best outcome whether selling your home or finding your next dream home. I truly care and will work to make your ....

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